Me, myself and thighs

Recently, this little link popped up on my FB newsfeed. It is a very short piece about a woman who not only recognises something about her body (shock! Her thighs touch!) but also accepts it for what it is: part of her. When I was growing up, my two thighs became an obsession. In my early teens, I was a thin girl: straight up, straight down. This meant no big bum, or wide hips, but also nothing on top. When you’re the only girl left in your class who doesn’t wear a bra, you attract some unwanted attention, believe me. But whilst I may have been wishing for growth in a certain place, my legs did not even feature on the radar; there was no need for them to. Then as the hormones began to have a visible effect and I was changing, my attention was drawn downwards.

Thigh gap, that is.

I’m pretty certain that at one stage in my life, if my magic genie had appeared, proffering those three wishes, all of them would’ve been used altering my figure – plastic surgery without the expense. And one wish would’ve been wasted on my thighs. Why my legs? I suppose it’s because they were the part which showed the natural changes going on the most, and while my stomach was a huge cause for concern, at least when walking I could breathe in. Unfortunately, there was nothing like that for my legs.

I should have recognised them for what they were: two perfectly acceptable parts of a fit, functioning body. All throughout school I revelled in sport. I was studious and quiet in the classroom, only really speaking out with closer friends I felt more comfortable with, and therefore dealt the usual remarks about being smart, etc. But when it came to sports, I was useful. Small and speedy, I was a hockey, netball, rounders and tennis player. I competed in running events at sports days, even beating some boys in the year above on one occasion. None of which would’ve been possible without my legs – hated parts and all. But I didn’t recognise that, all I saw in the mirror was something which wasn’t good enough. Their ability didn’t matter, it was their appearance which I thought about, constantly.

She does not have the thighs of a child! Stone her!

The Baz Luhrmann’s song, Everyone’s Free (to Wear Sunscreen), advises you to remember the compliments and forget the insults. Something which is true and yet incredibly hard to do; if anyone has managed it, please let me know how! I would sincerely like to erase an incident from my mind: I was 16 and talking to two boys (I know, I know, I apologise for being so cliché). I should provide context here: one of them liked me (he knew his feelings weren’t reciprocated) and the other one I liked (I never dreamt of telling him. Would’ve been mortifying). The conversation shifted to me. And how I looked. “She’s thin, but she’s got quite big thighs, hasn’t she?” “Yeah, but that’s what you get when you play hockey. “I felt like I had been hit with a brick. Weren’t people who fancied you supposed to see you as perfect? And even if they didn’t, weren’t people supposed to say this kind of thing behind your back? I should’ve recognised it for what I now know it was: two boys who both liked me, weren’t going out with me and trying to make themselves feel better about it (probably). But that’s pretty hard to do when you’re a bulimic teenager with very little self-confidence. I’m not sure how I backed out of that situation. I’d like to pretend I imparted some acidic wit which showed just how little I cared and how fantastic I was, despite my ‘large legs’, but I don’t think I did.

While school may be far behind me, my thighs still play a part in my personality, sadly. I am not at peace with how I look. My concerns with my legs have lessened now, but they still dictate my outfits, how I feel about myself, how I hold myself in front of others, how I sit. (Which by the way, is crossed-legged whenever possible. Even when I am alone, I find it hard to sit with legs flat on a chair.)

There is hope on the horizon though: last summer I wore a bikini in public for the first time in seven years. And I took off the T-shirt and shorts covering it. I’ll admit, I wasn’t completely comfortable, but being with people who didn’t make me feel ashamed of what I looked like definitely helped. I am planning to repeat my amazing feat again this year, hopefully feeling more confident still. I know I have a way to walk before my thighs become my best friend, or before I can even judge them fairly, but I do believe I can get there.

 

Spotted No.5

Runaway Cone – this cone is from Avon and Somerset, found wandering the streets of East London. I think it may have been following me! 

Privatization of Privatization

In an utterly unsurprising move by the incumbent government, a democratic decision was made today by David Cameron to privatize the privatization of publically held assets.

Responding to questions during Prime Minister Question time, David Cameron had this to say: “Mwhahhhhwealth”.

In the interest of the free-market and fair, capitalist competition, everyone who paid £250,000 to have tea and scones with Mr Cameron last Wednesday was offered the chance to procure this lucrative new venture. The maid, butler and secretary couldn’t afford a voice, leaving Sir Chip Longchin of Money, Money & Moore as the lone spokesman.

The move is expected to benefit four grey men in their late sixties greatly, but offer a generally poorer service to everyone else, leading some backbench detractors to slowly shake their heads and frown. Vicount Ashford of Pleasantdale explains the wider benefits:

“It’s not just these four wealthy gentlemen who will benefit, but also their immediate family. It’s likely that a private jet will be bought, and then written off as a tax-deductable. And they will give my nephew a job, who will then be able to afford to send his children to a better boarding school”.

A spokesman for The Conservative Party explains the decision:

“One of the problems with being a politician is that we tend to think a little too ‘inside the box’. We have taken the bold move to outsource creativity. There is now a company in the Virgin Islands dedicated to thinking up innovative new ways to strip our country of natural assets. Anything we can sell really.”

The Conservative think tank Conservative Nepotism Undoes Thoughtful Socialism (CNUTS), are prepared to accept credit if the public perception is positive, or blame Labour and resign from their posts with lucrative severance packages if the Tory public relations campaign is unsuccessful, and the general public become quietly indignant.

Canvassing people’s opinion on the street, Some Ambitious Journalist spoke to Joe Smith:

“Ooh, I don’t understand that kind of thing. I just don’t want the other party to get in, because Jim down The Crown said they are going to reduce rubbish collection to once fortnightly! Can you imagine?”

Jane Willis echoed this sentiment:

“Oh yes, good. Well, I ‘m sure they know what they’re doing, these people. How else would they get those jobs they got?”

When questioned about his privatization plans moving forward, Sir Chip Longchin identified the key sectorial expansion areas earmarked for capitalization, such as education, pollination, complaining about the rich and thoughts.